ADDRESSING MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEM AMONG CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE BEFORE FACING EXAMINATIONS
Dear Parents/guardians,
I have never heard of any parents and guardians calling family and friends to join them to celebrate his/her child/ren's failures but celebration is about achievement of making it to another grade or in life.
We have reported cases of child/ren and young people committing suicide through the media, in our communities' and villages for failing to pass Grade 7 and 9 examinations.
From my years of experience teaching and talking to children about child rights, I know that parents and guardians want their children to do the best that they can in all areas of life, especially at school. Perhaps, school exam results are generally considered the quintessential indicator of a child's success.
When children fail exams or secure poor marks, parents and guardians are heartbroken just as their kids are. Some parents and guardians often think that their child is not giving its best or not serious in their studies, but that's not always the case.
I believe we need to create child friendly spaces to promote silent epidemics, mental health services and suicide awareness to parents and children who fail to pass Grade 7 and 9 examinations not to commit suicide but to understand that this is not the end of the World one can do much better if given a chance to rewrite the examinations again and passing with higher grades.
During this period children, young people and their parents and guardians experience moderate to severe trauma, depression, silent epidemics, emotional, psychological and other behavioural difficulties to accept the failures of not making it to another grade.
While it's distressing to see our child/ren failing exams, there's a lot to learn from failures. Instead of showing disappointment, support our child/ren, which is the most crucial thing we can do as parents and guardians. Making him/her understand that it is through failure that we learn and that it can help them do better the next time around.
Never compare our child/ren with any other child in the class or friendship group, and obviously not a sibling. Parents and guardians should know that every child is different and so are their strengths and capabilities. Being compared can be the worst thing for teenagers, whose hormones and emotions are all over the place.
As we help our child/ren copy with failures and prepare for the future, track his/her progress. While doing so, we should watch out for any signs of depression, sadness, aggression, decreased appetite or sleep, etc. It may be noted that the number of students committing suicide over exam failures has been rising.
It is important for us parents and guardians to be reasonable about our child/ren's achievements. Not every child is going to be a rocket scientist and have 100% on everything. Each person is an individual. As such, our child/ren may be great at languages but horrible in math but do poorly in creative and technology studies or Special papers.
Keep goals for our child/ren realistic for them as an individual. Knowing the difference between when our child/ren is failing because they are not trying and when they are failing due to different areas of strength is key. We need child rights or child based organisations that can help to develop a wider network in areas of primary prevention and positive mental health promotion, child based early intervention, providing specialist targeted support and crisis assessment care and risk support to child/ren, young people and their parents presenting with a mental health emergency.
From my own years of working with children, I met and counseled a few children and young people who suffered mental health problem in the path of attempted suicide thinking that the entire world had closed up on them after failing to pass Grade 7, 9 and 12 examinations.
As you may be aware that we are all potential victims of mental illnesses/challenges since most of us at some point are likely going to get; stressed, depressed, anxious, disappointed, rejected, accused, lied to, financial drought, lose our loved ones, failure, unloved, unemployed, fired, homeless, dysfunctional relationships, drugs and alcohol addiction, phone addiction many other.
We need to teach our child/ren that failing from time to time is normal part of life, this can help our child/ren to develop important skills that will last a lifetime. Getting poor exam result is a reality check for your child. Failing and learning to deal with that failure appropriately can help your child to do better the next time around.
We don't need to take our child/ren's failure personally. This is not about us, it's about our child/ren. Instead, we need to foster a positive environment that encourages our child/ren to approach us when they are having difficulty throughout the year and ask for help. No child wants to ask for help when they know they are going to get a grumpy, irrational parent who expects more than they are actually capable of.
We are all not meant to excel in academics. Make peace with that. Rather than demoralise a child and use demeaning tones, how about you celebrate their strengths in areas where they have competencies? What your child needs the most from you at this point of life is your love, care and of course, your positive and constructive support.
Issued by
Patrick Maboshe
+260979997382